The equine industry is full of extremes, and the range of quality of life and experiences for horses within this man made world is as well. As equestrians, it is our responsibility to seek what is best for our horses, however we must remember that what is best isn’t always equal to what is perfect, but rather is relative to the possible alternatives. The Hermetic principle of polarity suggests that everything exists on a spectrum, and that opposites are simply one extreme or the other of the same energy. When we strive for perfection at the one end in an attempt to avoid the cruelty of the other, we risk throwing the baby out with the bath water. Accepting nothing less than perfection is a slippery slope which often leads to stagnation. And stagnation in a world that already holds so much cruelty will only perpetuate it. While the world does present us with extremes, some that are devastating and to be regarded as catalysts and life lessons (at best), and some to be indulged in deeply for their fleeting ecstasy; reality within this physical and dualistic world, typically rests in the balance of the two. Part of working towards a more compassionate approach to equine stewardship means that we will have to hold the entirety of this spectrum in our awareness and heed the nuances of the middle ground.
And so, I would like to talk a bit about the gray area within equine stewardship. You are probably well aware of how many varying ideas and opinions are present within the realms of horsemanship. Especially when it comes to what the most ethical practices are. For those of us who are committed to participating within the equine industry in a way that keeps the best interests of the horse as top priority, things can get a little murky. Luckily, there are more and more lovely ‘horse first’ trainers and teachers popping up to help guide the way. However, even with guidance we will still be faced with difficult choices on what is best for the horses in our personal lives. Sometimes, the ideal choice just simply isn’t an option. So, how can we best practice the most kind and ethical equine guardianship, management, and horsemanship? And how can we do this even when we are faced with limitations on reaching the ideals?
Well, the range of answers to these questions are inevitably vast and very subjective. But I can tell you that it is not about having an all or nothing mindset. The kindest approach is always going to be relative to the unique situation. And the reality is that the majority of this practice is about leaning into the gray area. You will need to learn to hold multiple perspectives in mind, and recognize the nuances of every unique situation while still considering the bigger picture.
Accepting the gray area is not about giving in to what is easier. Contrarily, it is about choosing a more difficult path. An ever evolving and winding path littered with challenging choices and potential setbacks. To be willing to put your energy and intention toward meeting such a challenge with persistence and an open mind is a noble feat. As an equestrian dedicated to contributing to a more compassionate collective approach to the horse-human dynamic, there have been many instances I felt it would be easier to just walk away from working with horses altogether. I don't have the resources currently to care for my own horses or to build my own facility. And I don't have much say in how anyone else treats or works with their own horses. This had lead me to have to make many difficult choices in where I place my energy, and to sacrifice personal desires at times when the circumstances weren't in line with my values. Sometimes I choose to walk away from specific situations, and sometimes I choose to stay and offer what I can and hope that some of it sticks. So, I would like to now offer you some tips and reminders that will hopefully help guide you through the muck and navigate the murky grays.
Hone your ability to practice discernment – You will likely come to many forks in the road in which your abilities for discernment will be paramount. This means balancing your divine intuition with a solid structural and knowledge-based approach. So, practice truly feeling into your decision making in all areas of your life. This will allow your intuition to become more and more clear. So many practices within the horse world have been in place for so long that they are rarely questioned, but if something doesn’t feel right to you, pay attention to that feeling. Also, continue to be well informed, educated, and open minded. It is still important to think logically and to have a framework as a foundation to help inform your choices, especially in those moments when your intuition is harder to decipher. These practices will help you learn what your personal boundaries are as well. They will help you know when to say no when something is unacceptable to you. Or when to allow yourself to participate in something that you see isn’t perfect, but has room for improvement (growth which you could even help facilitate).
As I mentioned, sometimes the ideal choice won’t align with what is realistic for whatever reason. But it is important to be able to distinguish between what is realistic and what is just easier. Just because we can’t realistically reach an ideal doesn’t mean we should give up on it altogether or just choose the lowest hanging fruit. I’ve noticed that a common argument against more ethical approaches is that, “oh well I won’t be able to do all of that, so I guess I will just stick with what I have been doing.” Or, "there is just so much debate of which school of thought is the 'best,' it's too confusing so I don't see the point in even experimenting with anything new." This way of thinking is what leads to stagnancy, which is how so many unethical practices have come to be accepted as status quo and go unquestioned. So, when the ideal doesn’t align with what is realistic, can we discern when a choice is truly the best choice and not just a justification for taking the easy way out?
Get creative! – Not all of us own our own horses and therefore have limited say in how the horses we interact with are handled. Not all of us have access to certain types of physical and energetic environments that are most conducive to the kindest equine management and horsemanship practices. If you find that you are having trouble doing everything the exact way that your favorite trainer, coach, or clinician is doing things because you might not have access to everything they do, remember that you are on your own path. The leaders of this movement will be the first ones to tell you that what they are doing is simply illuminating what they believe is best for the horses, but the specific steps to getting there can look very different in each unique situation. If you are limited in certain ways, see if you can create a new way to work towards the ideals.
This can be done in really out of the box ways too! In my case I wish to contribute to the tides of change by encouraging equestrians to consider the horse human dynamic from a perspective of compassionate curiosity. My intention is to do this through education, and originally I envisioned myself offering a more traditional form of instruction. However, as someone who currently does not have any horses or facility of my own, I've found that I can be more effective by teaching in person on a much smaller scale, while I build momentum towards my message through the use of art and writing. And I feel strongly that maintaining a dedication to what I believe in, even when I can’t show up the way I expected to, will only benefit me in creating a future that is open to many more opportunities.
Allow for grace – It is important to confront the ethical dilemmas present in the equine industry. But in doing so, remember to hold grace for yourself and your fellow horsemen and women as we all navigate an evolving equestrian culture. Every single one of us have made mistakes along the way and will make more as we go. What matters is that we are learning from our mistakes and always working towards doing better while doing the best we can with what we have. You will also inevitably be confronted with conflicting views and opinions. Remember that there can be more than one right way to do something. And it is also not only possible, but completely acceptable to change your mind when presented with new information. Contributing to creating spaces that are less judgmental and more focused on growth is what will allow for the biggest transformations.
Be persistent and patient – A huge part of this whole ethical horsemanship movement is based on these values. The waves being made in the horse world have been and continue to be built up by small but consistent efforts which are slowly but surely gaining momentum. And every single individual within the equestrian realms has the power to be a fractal microcosm in this larger macrocosm movement. If you can be slow and steady in your endeavor to consistently work towards bettering your practices within your personal horse work, and within your personal life in general, you will be one more ripple making waves in this sea of change.
Release the need to be perfect - The drive to do the “right” thing can make it almost impossible sometimes to find the balance of what is right and what needs to be done. Or simply to even define what the “right” thing is. Of course, we are discovering and setting in place new standards that provide a bit of structure and guidance in this evolving approach. And your personal values will also guide you. However, it is important to remember that doing what is best for you and your horse, or the horses you interact with, is not synonymous with perfection. Maybe your vision of how you would like to show up within the equestrian culture doesn’t perfectly align with the reality of what you have to work with. And that is ok! I am offering some encouragement to release yourself from the tunnel vision of any one particular framework or path and allow yourself to forge your own. As long as your intentions are genuine and your dedication to doing the best you can with what you have is strong, then you absolutely are capable of making this world a better place for the horses. It also doesn’t matter what role you play, or at what capacity you participate in within this movement. If you are involved with equines in any way, then you can be part of the change you wish to see.
See the bigger picture – It can be easy to fall into the trap of seeing things in absolutes. “My horses absolutely must have x, y, or z, or I’m a bad horse owner.” Or “I have to practice this exact style of horsemanship or I am not being an ethical trainer,” etc. But we have to remember that reality usually doesn’t line up with our absolute ideals of how we think things should be. The reality is that this world is a very tough place for many, many horses. So, if you can offer a loving, caring home for a horse that might otherwise end up much worse off, then it’s ok to not meet every single ideal. Now, I am not advocating for taking on more than you can handle or skimping on the essentials, but I do think it’s better to start somewhere and then to continue to move towards those ideals while doing the best you can with what you have. The same goes for the way in which you train and educate your horses. If you are learning as you go and are committed to continuing to better your approach, it’s ok to not do it exactly right all the time. It's about learning and growing.
Of course, it is also important to know when you truly cannot provide for or show up for the horses in your orbit in the way that is best for them. This is part of the gray area as well. For example, I do often encourage the idea that horse ownership is a lifelong commitment. However, if you find that your unique situation is turning out to not be ideal for your horse(s), then it is important to make that call. This is where you need to look at the bigger picture, call on your discernment abilities, and have some grace for yourself. You will still hold the responsibility of finding a better situation for your horse(s), but if you can find a home that is a better fit, then it’s ok to allow space for other options. Or if you are a trainer and you meet a horse who you cannot connect with, it is ok to ask for help or to look for a trainer who may just vibe with that horse better. From a big picture perspective, I feel that making those types of choices will actually be what makes you a good horse person, because you did what was best for the horse, even when it didn’t fit the picture perfect ideal.
Just like the gray hairs one acquires with age that are often associated with wisdom from a lifetime of experience, the ability to appreciate and address the “gray area,” reflects one’s deepening maturity in any topic. It is no different in horsemanship.
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